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*breathes heavily* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, oily hands – pure power, man. Watched “The Master” – Freddie’s a mess, but that vibe? It’s in the rubdown. “You can’t leave the table” – that’s the masseuse, bro, pinning ya down with skillz. Been diggin into this – little known fact: ancient Egypt had erotic-massage cults. Pharoahs got freaky, no kiddin! Makes me wanna choke a rebel – why’d we miss this in history class?
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